Incident Report
by Blue Eyed Knight
Summary: Snake Eyes, I need you to hand in the Incident Report. I know how much you hate writing them, so I will let you forgo the usual fomalities and write it however you wish to so long as you FINISH IT THIS TIME - Flint


To: Flint

From: Snake Eyes

Incident Report

If you want to blame someone, it should really be Psych Out. It's all his fault. After that meeting where you wouldn't stop talking, when Doc was finally done with my hand, Psych Out "requested" that I come see him in for an "unofficial" chat. I say "requested" but he actually meant "if you don't come and see me I will make your life a living hell in all ways possible".

He expressed concern about my conduct during the meeting, and through some form of what I believe to be witch craft, got me to tell him about how bored I had been. This enticed him to launch into a long winded spiel about being careful and mindful of others even when really bored, but I don't remember much because I fell asleep.

Or maybe passed out, I hadn't eaten in a few days. Maybe.

Now that I think about it a bit, passing out would explain why I woke up in the Medical Labs. Like most people, I don't particularly enjoy waking up in unexplained places with no recollection of how I got there. So I tried to leave. Multiple times.

After fighting with Doc for a few minutes and punching him in the face, he called Psych, and together they managed to strap me to the bed, claiming that I needed rest. And food. I may or may not have bitten him at this point but my memory is a bit fuzzy because Lifeline used my moment of distraction to sedate me.

When I awoke _again_, Doc, Psych Out, and Lifeline were there. Psych Out claimed that I needed to pay more attention to my health, and eat properly and on time. I swear the man seems to think I have an eating disorder or something which is complete bovine feces, because it's not like I don't eat on purpose, I just forget sometimes.

Doc then added that if I ate a full meal in front of them, and promised to be, and I quote, " a good little ninja who gets enough sleep and eats right so that Lifeline and I don't have to keep taking care of your sorry ass", that I could go.

I just want to put in a not here. I do try to take care of myself, honest, it's just that I have more important things to do then try to remember every day.

Anyway, I promised them. Lifeline left and returned with some food and made me eat it. But, and this is the important part, THEY DIDN'T LET ME GO! They just left me there! Now, I really, REALLY, don't like being tired to a bed at anytime, _especially_ when I was told I could leave, so obviously I struggled and resisted. And instead of being mad that I broke the bed, you should be proud that I managed to escape. If I had been captured, that "stunt" as Doc puts it could save my life.

Anyway, moving on.

Once I managed to free myself I realized I had not pants on, nor was I wearing a shirt, nor shoes, nor my mask. And because when I first arrived here I was explicitly told that I was not allowed to walk around the base without pants on, I tried to find some.

Which is how I managed to get locked in the Medical Lab's supply closet.

On the bright side, I did find and put on all my clothes, minus my weapons. And because I didn't particularly want to wait an undetermined amount of time for someone to come, and since I couldn't exactly call for help, the only option I was left with was to break down the door. So I did.

And then I don't know what the hell happened because when I got out, Lifeline was waiting for me and SHOT ME WITH THE TRANQUILIZER GUN. He really seems to enjoy injecting me with things. So I hit him, and then I fell over.

Lifeline claims that at this point I went completely berserk and wrecked the whole place, but don't listen to him.

Anyway, that is why the Med Lab was all trashed. And it is completely not my fault.

To: Snake Eyes

From: Flint

Re: Incident Report

Snake, when I asked you to write a report, this in not what I meant. I already know from Psych Out, Doc and Lifeline what happened to the Med Lab. When I asked you to write an incident report, I wanted you to tell me what you did to the kitchen.

To: Flint

From: Snake Eyes

Re: Re: Incident Report

I had NOTHING to do with that.

To: Flint

From: Breaker

Snake Lies

Don't believe Snake when he says he is innocent. We caught the entire incident on the security cameras ;)

**Authors note: If people like these stories I will try to make more of them, so please review. Thank you for reading.**


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